20 Costly Mistakes You May Be Making in Life
In keeping with our recent theme of ‘Decisions Determine Destiny,’ I’d like to highlight 20 costly mistakes you may be making that will hinder your decisions and ultimately, your success. Mistakes are often costly.
In the book of Esther we read about a costly mistake made by Queen Vashti.
“On the seventh day of the feast, when King Xerxes was in high spirits because of the wine, he told the seven eunuchs who attended him…to bring Queen Vashti to him with the royal crown on her head. He wanted the nobles and all the other men to gaze on her beauty, for she was a very beautiful woman. But when they conveyed the king’s order to Queen Vashti, she refused to come.”
Notice there is no written explanation for why Queen Vashti refused to obey the king’s orders. Excuses don’t matter, decisions do. We quickly discover the cost of Queen Vashti’s mistake in Esther 1:19,
“So if it pleases the king, we suggest that you issue a written decree, a law of the Persians and Medes that cannot be revoked. It should order that Queen Vashti be forever banished from the presence of King Xerxes, and that the king should choose another queen more worthy than she.”
Talk about a costly mistake. Vashti went from queen to banished forever because of one mistake. It didn’t matter how pretty she was or how long she had been queen. She made a mistake and we never heard about her again.
In 2 Kings 20:12, King Hezekiah made a grave mistake. When the king of Babylon sent him a gift, he showed the Babylonian envoys everything in his treasure house and royal treasuries. The Bible says,
“There was nothing in his palace or kingdom that Hexekiah did not show them…Then Isaiah said to Hezekiah, ‘Listen to this message from the Lord: The time is coming when everything in your palace–all the treasures stored up by your ancestors until now–will be carried off to Babylon. Nothing will be left, says the Lord. Some of your very own sons will be taken away into exile. They will become eunuchs who will serve in the palace of Babylon’s king.’”
Another heavy cost to pay for a seemingly simple mistake. The story of King Hezekiah leads me to another costly mistake, we’ll call this a bonus. Don’t be deceived by a gift. Be gracious, but don’t allow a gift to cause you to drop your guard. Not every gift is in good faith. Sometimes people want something from you in return.
There are many examples in the Bible of costly mistakes. Let’s get into the 20 costly mistakes you may be making.
Upward Correction
When you correct upwards, the relationship ends. Never correct people who are over you. It will immediately sever any relationship God’s put in your life.
I know it’s politically correct to say everyone is equal, but that’s not true. Everyone is not equal. Jesus himself did not treat everyone equally.
When Pastor Rodney Howard Browne asks me what I think, I refrain from saying anything. When people attempt to correct my ministry on twitter, I mute them.
2. Lack of Joy
I remember a time when a young man I knew brought his brother to the studio. The entire time I was on-air his brother sat there with arms crossed and an angry look on his face. I asked him what his problem was and he said he didn’t have one. I took the young man aside and told him if he brought his brother back that night, to make sure he came back happy. The only reason I didn’t throw him out of the studio was because he was the brother of a nice guy. Come to find out, his brother actually wanted to work for our ministry. After that initial interaction, there’s no way he could work here. Everyone on staff at Revival Today has joy.
That interaction made me realize most young people have no idea how to interact with people when meeting them for the first time. Technology has made it so people can live comfortably without interacting with anyone in person. From virtual reality, AI, social media, Ubereats, and working from home, in-person interaction has become completely optional.
I told you this story to say this; Don’t be a joyless person.
Be someone people look forward to seeing. If you’re a joy to be around, doors will open for you. If you’re a miserable person, only other miserable people will want to be around you. It’s a mistake to lack joy.
3. Admiration of Stupid People
This one is simple. You become who you follow.
The Bible says in Matthew 7:20,
“Yes, just as you can identify a tree by its fruit, so you can identify people by their actions.”
I admire Pastor Rodney and Pastor Jesse Duplantis. If I end up like them when I’m older, I’ll be happy. Would you be happy if you ended up like the people you admire?
4. Lacking Admiration for the Wise
Some of you reading this may have a senior pastor who God sent for your benefit, yet you don’t admire him. Some of you have a wise father or mother and you’ve never looked up to them.
Understand the difference between a friend and a mentor. Just because someone isn’t your best friend doesn’t mean you should disregard their wisdom.
5. Operating in a Spirit of Entitlement
The spirit of entitlement is satanic at its root. Lucifer wasn’t content with his place in heaven. In the book of Isaiah 14:13 we see Satan said,
“I will ascend to heaven and set my throne above God’s stars.”
The scriptures tell us that Lucifer was beautiful and perfect in his ways from the day he was created, but the spirit of entitlement came upon him and the Bible says he was thrown out of heaven like lightning.
A spirit of entitlement can force you out of your destiny.
My first assignment in the ministry was to teach children’s church. I knew I was called to be an evangelist since I was eight years old. But I didn’t approach the pastor and say, ‘I’m actually called to be an evangelist.’ I didn’t throw my dad or my uncle’s name around expecting special treatment. I did a great job where I was placed to serve.
Anytime you’re feeling sorry for yourself, it’s the devil speaking to you. When thoughts enter your mind like, ‘They don’t use me like they should,’ it’s the devil. The Holy Spirit will never tell you that people don’t value you the way they should. That’s how the devil thinks. That’s why he fell from heaven.
The Bible says in Psalm 75:6-7,
“For no one on earth–from east or west, or even from the wilderness–should raise a defiant fist. It is God alone who judges; He decides who will rise and who will fall.”
In other words, promotion comes from the Lord. Humble yourself and in due time He will reward you. God hates pride. Come to the realization that you’re using your gift for the Lord and it’s up to Him to promote you.
6. Speaking When You Should Be Asking Questions
I’ve been privileged to sit at tables with great men of God. At those tables there always seems to be one person, who is also privileged to be there, who does more talking than listening. Don’t waste time trying to prove yourself in front of great men. Use the time in their presence to ask questions and listen.
I hesitate to say this because I don’t want to come off arrogant, but it makes a good point. A minister, about my age, who I attended Bible school with came to visit me. By the grace of God, I’ve made it several levels higher than him in the ministry. While he was here, all he did was talk about his ministry. He might as well have taken out his partner letter and read it to me verbatim. You would think since my ministry is making 20 times the impact yours is making, you’d ask me questions, not verbally assault me with your resume.
Whenever I get the chance to speak with Jesse Duplantis, I don’t tell him anything I’m doing. I ask questions. I don’t want his money.
I want to pick his brain.
I want to know about the mistakes he’s made so I can avoid them.
I want to know how he handles his finances.
I want to know about owning an aircraft.
When you speak about yourself it decreases a mentor’s desire to have anything to do with you. Some people have an urge to tell everyone how valuable they are. Maybe it’s because they weren’t made to feel valuable when they were growing up. It’s sad, but the reality is, it’s a mistake you need to avoid if you want to obtain success.
7. Lacking Focus
If I were to ask you what your focus is in life, could you tell me in a sentence or two? Great men of God have clear and concise mission statements.
Billy Graham - Proclaiming the Gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ to all we can by every effective means available to us, and equipping others to do the same.
Tiff Shuttlesworth - In dependence upon God, our goal is to lead one million people to a personal relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ.
Kenneth Hagin - Take the Gospel and the message of faith to every corner of the earth.
Ask God what your purpose is in His kingdom and then write it down. Otherwise, you’ll end up running errands and paying bills your entire life.
8. The Absence of an Exciting Goal
If you don’t currently have a personal goal that excites you, get one. An exciting goal guarantees you’ll have no bouts of depression. An exciting goal keeps you energized and gives you something to look forward to.
My personal, non-ministry related goal is to own a jet. If I want to fly my wife, Adalis, to Las Vegas for dinner and be back in time for Saturday night service, a jet can make that a reality. If I want to take Camila to Disney World in between my evangelical meetings, a jet enables me to do it.
I’d actually rather have a private jet than a mansion. What I’m about to say may sound silly to you, but I’d rather live in a one room apartment and have a plane than have a big house and no plane. Having a jet shrinks the world. It’s not a goal I’m obsessed with, but it excites me.
Your goal doesn’t need to be enormous, it just needs to excite you.
9. Lacking a Daily system or Routine That Leads to Your Success and Goals
This is an extremely costly mistake. If you have not ordered the days of your life around your end goal you’re making a huge mistake.
I have a daily system that leads to the growth of this ministry and this church. I don’t take six days off and then get ready to preach Sunday morning and hope the church will grow. There are several things I do every day that will lead to the growth and expansion of this ministry.
10. Allowing Uncaring People in Your Network
If your goals mean nothing to the people around you, change who’s around you.
If I were to employ anyone at Revival Today who didn’t care about the mission of this church, I would be making a grave mistake. In reality, I have people on staff who care as much if not more about Revival Today’s mission as I do. They pursue the goals of this ministry as their own personal goals.
If you’re a business owner, get rid of anyone in your network who is uncaring towards you goals. TODAY. Why would you pay someone to not care about you?
11. Allowing Your Happiness to Be Dictated By Someone Else
Short and to the point. This is a detrimental mistake. Don’t give anyone the power to control your happiness. Not your mother, or children. No one. You open yourself up to become manipulated.
12. Having A Less Than Excellent Appearance
Before you indict me for vanity, the Bible says in 1 Samuel 16:7,
“...The Lord doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”
God acknowledges that humans judge based on what they see, so make sure what you put forth is excellent.
We’re not all supermodels, but manage to have good hygiene and a neat and clean appearance. Simply look the best you possibly can. Don’t become vain or obsess about how you look, but look your best.
As the leader of Revival Today Church, I keep a high standard of dress. It doesn’t mean you’ll always like my personal style, but I’m always dressed appropriately. I don’t always feel like wearing a suit to preach on Sundays after I’m getting off a jet at 4am, but I know that people judge based on appearance and my mission is to reach people.
The way I dress grants me a little extra latitude in the way I preach. I have a tendency to yell and scream and jump on furniture. If I was wearing ripped jeans and a t-shirt while preaching this way, I’d look nuts. My conservative appearance balances out my wild temperament when I preach.
The way you dress sets a standard for the people around you. This causal attitude that seems to be permeating the church is ridiculous. I’ve literally heard people say, ‘This is a church for people who don’t like church.’ What use is a church full of people who don’t like church? If you don’t like church then don’t go to church. Revival Today is a church for people who like church. Get dressed up. Praise. Worship. Dance. Shout. Be excited.
13. Grieving Over Divine Exits
When someone exits your life and it’s God's will, don’t lose sleep over it.
Lucifer left heaven and there’s no record of God grieving over his absence.
Judas was a part of Jesus’ ministry for three and a half years before he betrayed Jesus, yet nowhere in the Bible can we find any mention of Jesus shedding even a single tear.
If God couldn’t fix Lucifer and Jesus couldn’t fix Judas, you shouldn’t beat yourself up about losing people.
14. Attempting to Turn a Wolf Into A Sheep
The Bible says in John 10:16,
“I have other sheep that are not of this fold.”
Jesus didn’t spend time with wolves. He devoted his life and ministry to those who received Him and produced fruit.
If I think you’re a wolf, I refuse to spend one second trying to turn you into a sheep.
15. Spending Time With the Rich Young Ruler Instead of Peter, James, and John
In Matthew 19, when Jesus told the rich young ruler what he needed to do to be perfect, the man left Jesus sad.
“Jesus told him, ‘If you want to be perfect, go and sell all your possessions and give the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me. But when the young man heard this, he went away sad, for he had many possessions.”
If you keep reading, you’ll notice Jesus didn’t call after the man, or chase him down. He turned to his disciples and explained to them how to enter the kingdom of God. Jesus focused on His disciples, not on the man who walked away from Him.
Be like Jesus. Don’t ignore people who receive you and your gift to spend time chasing people who don’t listen to anything you say. Focus on the people in your life who understand and embrace your purpose.
16. Trusting
According to the Bible, not only should you not trust anyone, you shouldn’t even trust yourself. Proverbs 28:26 says,
“Those who trust in their own insight are foolish, but anyone who walks in wisdom is safe.”
Proverbs 3:5 puts it this way,
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding.”
The only one you can trust is God and His Word.
The Bible doesn't say you have to be suspicious, but you should have safeguards in place for protection. For example, Revival Today Church has cameras everywhere. No one can make any claims about me because while I’m here, everything I do is visibly documented.
I’m positive Patrick doesn’t steal money from our ministry, but I have our ministry finances set up so that if he changed his mind and decided to become a thief, he wouldn’t be able to steal from the ministry.
17. Allowing Critics to Strip You of Your Uniqueness
As far as criticism goes, I’ve had my fair share.
‘Jonathan, you joke around too much.’
‘Jonathan, you preach too long.’
‘Jonathan, you shouldn’t jump on chairs in church.’
Who am I if you take those things away from me? Another dime a dozen preacher. If you listen to the critics and allow what they say to change who you are you’ll be like a manilla folder stuck to a beige wall. BORING. Nothing about you will stand out.
I had a minister contact me to say, “You could reach so many more people if you weren’t sarcastic.” The man who reached out to me is not sarcastic, yet he reaches significantly less people than I do. Explain that.
Don’t allow anyone who has nothing better to do than to tell you what you should do, tell you what to do.
18. Ignoring And Enemy
Ignoring Goliath will not make him disappear. Don’t ignore enemies, deal with them.
The saying, "Keep your friends close, but keep your enemies closer.” couldn’t be more idiotic. Remove betrayers from your presence. When someone shows themself to be an enemy, treat them accordingly.
Jesus didn’t treat everyone like a friend. There was a clear difference between how He treated the Pharisees and how he treated His disciples.
Don’t keep enemies around.
19. Failing to Confront Poverty
Poverty is completely unnecessary. I just mentioned not ignoring your enemies. Poverty is an enemy that needs to be confronted.
Being temporarily poor due to a recent unpredictable event, like a natural disaster, is possible. However, being permanently or consistently poor as a believer is avoidable.
Let’s think about why you wouldn’t have money. The only explanation is that you have more outcome than income. That’s a fixable problem. There’s no reason to be poor in America. If you have a poverty problem, decide you’re going to make moves to get out of your situation.
The Bible says ‘A man who doesn’t work shouldn’t eat.’ That’s found in the New Testament, under grace. Grace doesn’t allow you to be a bum, sit back and receive blessings from God. God’s not a socialist.
If the decisions you’ve made thus far have led you to be in poverty, make different decisions. Different decisions produce wealth.
20. Failing to Properly Express Gratitude
I heard a man say, ‘I used to think one ‘thank you’ was enough, but it’s not.’ In order to express gratitude appropriately, your show of appreciation needs to be correlated to the size of the blessing you’ve received. If someone buys you a new Corvette, you don’t pat them on the back, say thanks, and drive off.
We send gifts to people for their giving, regularly. Everyone who’s a partner or friend of Revival Today receives a call once a month. We call to see if there’s anything we can pray about with them. Jesse Duplantis does the same thing in his ministry.
Jesus notices a lack of gratitude. In Luke 17, He healed ten lepers. After receiving their healing, only one man returned to thank Him. In verse 17, He replied,
“Didn’t I heal ten men? Where are the other nine? Has no one returned to give glory to God except this foreigner?”
Gratitude matters, not just to humans, but to God. In the natural, the most likely person to bless you is someone who’s already blessed you. Value the people who God’s already used in your life. Gratitude attracts blessings.
Now that we’ve reviewed all 20 of these mistakes, I hope you no longer make them. I hope you’ve enjoyed this teaching and I hope it helps you make decisions that prevent you from making these mistakes.
